If you've known me for any length of time, you know this much... for as political as I can be in my speech, I tend to say it like it is.
Unfortunately, I failed to remember that knowing your audience is a huge part of getting the proper message across, and I'll publicly apologize in this forum for my random spewings last week.
I ran Macomb County's "Let's Move" festival of races half marathon April 30, and finished in a respectable 2:02:29. Before I go any further, I need to thank the wonderful crew at Total Health Systems (http://www.totalhealthsystems.com) for not only allowing me to sport their team shirt and represent them, but for getting me ready to run as well. Their staff is amazing, they offer wonderful services all under one roof, and they're all sorts of fun and friendly! Without those folks, I'd be tighter than a watch spring and running myself right into an injury. I seriously don't know how I ran without their services. But I digress...
I wasn't very happy with my time, seeing as how I just broke two hours in NOLA back in February. However, taking into consideration that I hadn't trained anywhere near enough for a half marathon, my time, although slower than I hoped, was decent.
Decent, that is, until I started lamenting my efforts to my physical therapist... you know, the guy responsible for loosening me up and fixing the wreck that is my 41 year old body? Word to the wise... don't piss off your PT.
So I'm telling him about how I'm not happy and want to run faster, and he is smiling and nodding (he ran the half in 1:56 and change) and then I say something to the effect of, "... had I been training, I would've smoked you out there." Good job, Kev. It's now officially on.
Folks, gotta tell ya, if you don't know where your gluetius medius or illiac crest is, my PT is NOT the guy you want introducing you to those spots for the first time. That is, he's not the guy unless you like pain so intense it makes you wish a tree would fall on the treatment room so the session would stop. (I'm kinda sick that way, so bring on the pain)
Needless to say, he had a good time working me over the last couple of sessions. I'm extremely thankful, because even though it hurts, it's all for the best. Probably could've done without the sadistic laughter, but I think I'm paying extra for that anyway (just kidding... my insurance covers it), so it's all good.
Short story, long... my PT probably would've been painful anyway, but there's nothing like opening your mouth and ending up with your foot so far in it you can actually taste your illiac crest. (Ok, at this point, if you're not sure where it is, look it up on WebMD or something... you'll get the joke)
A bit of humility, a little less competitive spirit after the run, and a lot more preparation before it would've made this an entirely different posting. Hmm... maybe it was supposed to happen this way so I'd have something to write about.
Thanks again to everyone at Total Health Systems, and a special thanks to my PT. You know who you are, and you know I respect and appreciate all you do for me. My most profound apologies if my challenge to your skills on the road came across as arrogant or demeaning.
And to those who may have the wrong idea by my ramblings here... Total Health Systems' staff is TOTALLY professional and there is nothing "negative" I could say about them. I may joke about the pain, but anyone who's gone through PT knows there's pain to be had in the process, and there is no better place for your recovery needs. I consider these people my friends, and I'm very glad they're my caregivers.
Up next... the Henry Ford Healthcare System 5K in beautiful downtown Detroit. I wonder if I have childcare for this one... hmm.
Peace, love and leather... stylish, but scary in an exam room.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
At what point does absence become abstinence?
Let's cut to the chase... you'd think I'd have a better plan for populating this blog. I mean, who in their right mind has a training schedule but can't fit in writing about the training?
Oh, wait... I have a training schedule? Damn, there's another thing I've been forgetting.
To bring us all up to speed, I ran the Rock 'n' Roll half in Denver and finished respectably, although not under two hours as I had hoped. Admittedly, I took it easy and didn't want to hurt myself in the altitude, as did many I assume, because I was reeling people in like crazy... like 10s and 20s at a time. Guess starting with the 11th corral when I was placed in the 7th originally may have had something to do with that, but after my meltdown in August and the cramping at the AF Marathon, I was thankful for a healthy finish that left me feeling refreshed, and fulfilled, at the end of the weekend.
Fastforward to February and I'm running the 2nd annual Mardi Gras half in N'awlins. Didn't train as hard as I wanted, and walked to the starting line shaking my head... not a good sign.
Gun goes off, music's pumping, and I stride out... and holy hell, this is easy!
Gotta be a joke... hurricane's coming in or something right? Twisted ankle around the next corner? This is going way too well.
I push through the pain around mile 10 and find myself looking at the trusty Garmin thinking, "This is gonna be close" (I was shooting for breaking the 2-hour mark... like I trained to do so or something equally amusing). So I step it out a bit.
And the race steps back at me.
WTFO? Where did that push back come from? I didn't hit a wall, I got dragged through the rubble of a wall the race built then wrecked in front of me.
Mentally I'm questioning my existance, even going so far as to curse my mother for birthing me (sorry mom). This just got rough.
I look up, and there's the mausoleum-looking structure that served as a landmark for last year's finish line. Only about 500 or 600 yards to go.
I look down at the Garmin... I've got about a minute. I am NOT an Olympic-caliber sprinter. This is gonna hurt.
I look up at the heavens... God, I know we have an understanding, and I rarely ask you to kibitz, but please, if you have any sympathy for this many-time sinner, help me find some energy to finish this within my goal.
Ok, I prayed... and it was in desperation... shoot me. We'll deal with that issue later.
And into high gear I went.
The flashy show off kid who had been running 20 yards in front of me the entire race was a little closer in my crosshairs, and I had some energy left to burn.
Full stride, hands chopping the air like Bruce Lee kickin' some overweight goon ass, look of determination on my face (I know this because the best running pic of me EVER shows it!), and I'm closing in on the finish line.
People lining the finish would say I was sweating... those were tears folks... this push really hurt. But I passed Mr. Flashy Pants and tore off toward the pomp and circumstance that is the Rock 'n' Roll finish line.
And then I finished... a quick glance at the Garmin almost made me fall over... 1:59:58. I broke two hours by two SECONDS. Thank you God... now back to your Corona and beachfront view, because I have some recovery to do.
I guess recovery takes two months, because here I am, mid-April, faced with another half in two weeks, and then a 2nd one the weekend after, and I'm sitting in front of the computer rather than dealing with the beautiful Michigan 40 degree spring day and running my ass off.
Ah, the things we do to ourselves.
Peace, love and procrastination... I'm putting that last one off for a while.
Oh, wait... I have a training schedule? Damn, there's another thing I've been forgetting.
To bring us all up to speed, I ran the Rock 'n' Roll half in Denver and finished respectably, although not under two hours as I had hoped. Admittedly, I took it easy and didn't want to hurt myself in the altitude, as did many I assume, because I was reeling people in like crazy... like 10s and 20s at a time. Guess starting with the 11th corral when I was placed in the 7th originally may have had something to do with that, but after my meltdown in August and the cramping at the AF Marathon, I was thankful for a healthy finish that left me feeling refreshed, and fulfilled, at the end of the weekend.
Fastforward to February and I'm running the 2nd annual Mardi Gras half in N'awlins. Didn't train as hard as I wanted, and walked to the starting line shaking my head... not a good sign.
Gun goes off, music's pumping, and I stride out... and holy hell, this is easy!
Gotta be a joke... hurricane's coming in or something right? Twisted ankle around the next corner? This is going way too well.
I push through the pain around mile 10 and find myself looking at the trusty Garmin thinking, "This is gonna be close" (I was shooting for breaking the 2-hour mark... like I trained to do so or something equally amusing). So I step it out a bit.
And the race steps back at me.
WTFO? Where did that push back come from? I didn't hit a wall, I got dragged through the rubble of a wall the race built then wrecked in front of me.
Mentally I'm questioning my existance, even going so far as to curse my mother for birthing me (sorry mom). This just got rough.
I look up, and there's the mausoleum-looking structure that served as a landmark for last year's finish line. Only about 500 or 600 yards to go.
I look down at the Garmin... I've got about a minute. I am NOT an Olympic-caliber sprinter. This is gonna hurt.
I look up at the heavens... God, I know we have an understanding, and I rarely ask you to kibitz, but please, if you have any sympathy for this many-time sinner, help me find some energy to finish this within my goal.
Ok, I prayed... and it was in desperation... shoot me. We'll deal with that issue later.
And into high gear I went.
The flashy show off kid who had been running 20 yards in front of me the entire race was a little closer in my crosshairs, and I had some energy left to burn.
Full stride, hands chopping the air like Bruce Lee kickin' some overweight goon ass, look of determination on my face (I know this because the best running pic of me EVER shows it!), and I'm closing in on the finish line.
People lining the finish would say I was sweating... those were tears folks... this push really hurt. But I passed Mr. Flashy Pants and tore off toward the pomp and circumstance that is the Rock 'n' Roll finish line.
And then I finished... a quick glance at the Garmin almost made me fall over... 1:59:58. I broke two hours by two SECONDS. Thank you God... now back to your Corona and beachfront view, because I have some recovery to do.
I guess recovery takes two months, because here I am, mid-April, faced with another half in two weeks, and then a 2nd one the weekend after, and I'm sitting in front of the computer rather than dealing with the beautiful Michigan 40 degree spring day and running my ass off.
Ah, the things we do to ourselves.
Peace, love and procrastination... I'm putting that last one off for a while.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
A lesson in self importance
Days pass, weeks pass, and I think, "Why haven't I blogged about anything lately?" Could be that I've been so wrapped up in my own "center of the universe" mentality that I've forgotten someone out there may actually benefit from my thoughts and/or experiences. Or it could be that I'm a lazy ass and never got around to it... I vote for this explanation (because I'm not looking to make an excuse).
I ran/hobbled the Air Force Marathon last weekend. Ran the first 21 miles, then watched the knots in my calves expand to the point where I could see the damn things through the calf sleeves I was wearing. Five miles of walking later, with multiple cups of fluids at every stop, and I was able to trot my way through the last quarter mile and finish with a mind-blowing time of 5 hours, 24 minutes, 12 seconds. Rah me.
I'm not happy about that time. Nor am I happy about the skinny little female 30-something officer in my building who ran another marathon that same weekend in around 4:42... oh, and thanks for mentioning you were sick the week before smart ass; apparently they don't teach Ego 101 in OTS. It's been hard for me to wrap my head around what's keeping me from finishing these runs strong... maybe because I keep coming back to me.
I once wrote (and repeated out loud many times) that the selfishness of running was not in my nature. Figuring it would catch up with me eventually, I just kept plodding away until it came time to address it. Now's that time.
The selfishness of distance running really can't be explained properly to those who aren't doing it. Non-runners see it as any one of a number of definitions of crazy... "Why spend three hours on the road running further than I chose to drive in a day, Kev?" But it's not just the time pounding the pavement. It's the mental prep, the meals, spending a few hours enjoying panelists' commentary at an expo event, the countless searches for new training techniques, and, of course, the expense of new shoes, clothing, supplements, gels and whatever else we need to get the job done as close to "right" as we can.
I feel like I should apologize to those who take backseats when I'm trying to focus on my events. Not because of the time I spend away or not responding to texts, phone calls or emails (BTW, whatever did we do BEFORE the advent of cell phones? I'd kill for those times again). More to the point, the apology should be for my poor-ass showings at these runs.
I'm running the Denver Rock 'n' Roll Inaugural Half Marathon in mid-October... if I don't finish sub-2 hours I may have to reconsider this hobby. I'm just not this important.
Peace, love, and a huge dose of humility... it does the body good,
Your current keeper of the DD Form ID10T
I ran/hobbled the Air Force Marathon last weekend. Ran the first 21 miles, then watched the knots in my calves expand to the point where I could see the damn things through the calf sleeves I was wearing. Five miles of walking later, with multiple cups of fluids at every stop, and I was able to trot my way through the last quarter mile and finish with a mind-blowing time of 5 hours, 24 minutes, 12 seconds. Rah me.
I'm not happy about that time. Nor am I happy about the skinny little female 30-something officer in my building who ran another marathon that same weekend in around 4:42... oh, and thanks for mentioning you were sick the week before smart ass; apparently they don't teach Ego 101 in OTS. It's been hard for me to wrap my head around what's keeping me from finishing these runs strong... maybe because I keep coming back to me.
I once wrote (and repeated out loud many times) that the selfishness of running was not in my nature. Figuring it would catch up with me eventually, I just kept plodding away until it came time to address it. Now's that time.
The selfishness of distance running really can't be explained properly to those who aren't doing it. Non-runners see it as any one of a number of definitions of crazy... "Why spend three hours on the road running further than I chose to drive in a day, Kev?" But it's not just the time pounding the pavement. It's the mental prep, the meals, spending a few hours enjoying panelists' commentary at an expo event, the countless searches for new training techniques, and, of course, the expense of new shoes, clothing, supplements, gels and whatever else we need to get the job done as close to "right" as we can.
I feel like I should apologize to those who take backseats when I'm trying to focus on my events. Not because of the time I spend away or not responding to texts, phone calls or emails (BTW, whatever did we do BEFORE the advent of cell phones? I'd kill for those times again). More to the point, the apology should be for my poor-ass showings at these runs.
I'm running the Denver Rock 'n' Roll Inaugural Half Marathon in mid-October... if I don't finish sub-2 hours I may have to reconsider this hobby. I'm just not this important.
Peace, love, and a huge dose of humility... it does the body good,
Your current keeper of the DD Form ID10T
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Six Weeks to another healthy dose of education
I can't believe it's been almost three months since I've been here. For as much as I've been learning about my abilities (or lack thereof) it'd make sense that I'd be more apt to share my realities. Maybe I just validiated my disbelief... the reality is that I'm not moving forward as I hoped - and I have no one to blame but myself.
Not to say that I haven't had some "wins". No, not 1st in a race wins, but some gains, like knocking off three minutes on my best 10K time at the Whitmore Lake Races 10K July 3. Or the even better 10K time I turned in as a split at the Chicago Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon Aug 1. But again, my reality is that I'm not training to the distance... I'm just running for the sake of spending ridiculous amounts of money traveling around and then walking away with a medal and a continuous shaking of my head while I ponder the question, "Why am I not taking this more seriously?"
The answer, gentle reader, is that I shouldn't be so serious... at least not so serious that I'm kicking my own ass on a regular basis. The seriousness I'm missing is a function of my ever-fragile ego (another casualty of hitting four full decades in age). If I'm not going to show more improvement, then I need to decide if running around the country doing this is the best fiscal option and, more importantly, if I need to be advertising my shortcomings.
With that in mind, in just six short weeks, at this time I'll be closing in (hopefully) on the finish of the Air Force Marathon in Dayton, Ohio. My running tip for the week (or month, or quarter, if you want to get technical about how often I'm here) is this: if you're running a long distance for the first time and can fall in with a pace group, do so. The folks leading these groups are experienced in running the distance you're tackling, and they'll keep you from doing what I did in Chicago... take off like a bat out of hell, turn in a great first nine miles then crash hard and cramp up because I didn't take my time staying properly hydrated.
I'll be here more often now... I know, I know - you've heard it all before. But what I've determined is that I need to share what I'm learning so I can go back and reread the lessons I'm passing on. There's nothing worse than a sage not taking their own advice.
BTW... my recommended book for the month is Born to Run by Christopher McDougall. It's a great story with some excellent spiritual views and fun anecdotes on running with people who thrive on the "ultra" side of life. Try it... you won't be sorry!
Peace, love, and potassium... it'll keep the cramps away!
Stumbledorff
Not to say that I haven't had some "wins". No, not 1st in a race wins, but some gains, like knocking off three minutes on my best 10K time at the Whitmore Lake Races 10K July 3. Or the even better 10K time I turned in as a split at the Chicago Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon Aug 1. But again, my reality is that I'm not training to the distance... I'm just running for the sake of spending ridiculous amounts of money traveling around and then walking away with a medal and a continuous shaking of my head while I ponder the question, "Why am I not taking this more seriously?"
The answer, gentle reader, is that I shouldn't be so serious... at least not so serious that I'm kicking my own ass on a regular basis. The seriousness I'm missing is a function of my ever-fragile ego (another casualty of hitting four full decades in age). If I'm not going to show more improvement, then I need to decide if running around the country doing this is the best fiscal option and, more importantly, if I need to be advertising my shortcomings.
With that in mind, in just six short weeks, at this time I'll be closing in (hopefully) on the finish of the Air Force Marathon in Dayton, Ohio. My running tip for the week (or month, or quarter, if you want to get technical about how often I'm here) is this: if you're running a long distance for the first time and can fall in with a pace group, do so. The folks leading these groups are experienced in running the distance you're tackling, and they'll keep you from doing what I did in Chicago... take off like a bat out of hell, turn in a great first nine miles then crash hard and cramp up because I didn't take my time staying properly hydrated.
I'll be here more often now... I know, I know - you've heard it all before. But what I've determined is that I need to share what I'm learning so I can go back and reread the lessons I'm passing on. There's nothing worse than a sage not taking their own advice.
BTW... my recommended book for the month is Born to Run by Christopher McDougall. It's a great story with some excellent spiritual views and fun anecdotes on running with people who thrive on the "ultra" side of life. Try it... you won't be sorry!
Peace, love, and potassium... it'll keep the cramps away!
Stumbledorff
Saturday, May 15, 2010
A geriatric beatdown... epic fail
Ok, so I decide to use last weekend's Bellevue-Offutt Runway Run as a 7-mile training run for the Council Bluffs half marathon I'm registered for on March 23. While the distance was good, the results left much to be desired. The top 3 finishers were all in their late 40s, and when I learned a 66-year old woman finished about 20 minutes ahead of me, I quickly looked south to see if I still had my testicles. Are you kidding me???
Lessons learned... 1) run faster; 2) train harder; 3) run faster, dummy; and 4) quit having bright ideas. Finishing 82nd out of 152 isn't the kind of thing you brag about, although the optimistc masses out there have said everything from, "Good for you for trying," to, "Damn, I don't even like to drive that far." If I'm going to do this, I need to be actively engaged in making progress. Jack Ryan said it best in "Hunt for Red October"..."Next time, send a memo."
Faithful reader(s)... you'll see more of me from here over the next few months. I recently joined the Omaha Running Club so I can hang with more people who are sick like... I mean, enjoy running like I do. I've also entered myself into the following runs:
Council Bluffs Half Marathon - 23 May
The Bellevue Barnburner 10K - 5 June
The NE 5 - 5 miler - 12 June
Rock 'n' Roll Chicago Half Marathon - 1 Aug
and... ta daaaah... the Air Force Marathon - 18 September.
Yes, you read it right... daddy's gonna run himself into submission in Dayton, Ohio mid September. Please put 911 on your speed dial as we get closer to the date.
Peace, love, and a healthy dose of reality... I got mine from the grandma who whupped my carcass last weekend.
Your overachieving scribe
Lessons learned... 1) run faster; 2) train harder; 3) run faster, dummy; and 4) quit having bright ideas. Finishing 82nd out of 152 isn't the kind of thing you brag about, although the optimistc masses out there have said everything from, "Good for you for trying," to, "Damn, I don't even like to drive that far." If I'm going to do this, I need to be actively engaged in making progress. Jack Ryan said it best in "Hunt for Red October"..."Next time, send a memo."
Faithful reader(s)... you'll see more of me from here over the next few months. I recently joined the Omaha Running Club so I can hang with more people who are sick like... I mean, enjoy running like I do. I've also entered myself into the following runs:
Council Bluffs Half Marathon - 23 May
The Bellevue Barnburner 10K - 5 June
The NE 5 - 5 miler - 12 June
Rock 'n' Roll Chicago Half Marathon - 1 Aug
and... ta daaaah... the Air Force Marathon - 18 September.
Yes, you read it right... daddy's gonna run himself into submission in Dayton, Ohio mid September. Please put 911 on your speed dial as we get closer to the date.
Peace, love, and a healthy dose of reality... I got mine from the grandma who whupped my carcass last weekend.
Your overachieving scribe
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Lower than a snake's belly
So the last pause for the cause took 14 days... this time I've been away for more than a month, and I find myself sitting at my pub table typing away when I should be traveling to Nashville for my next Rock-n-Roll half marathon. However, concerns regarding severe weather have me taking the cautious side of the spectrum. It's not that I mind running in a little rain; I'm not the least bit interested in dodging lightning. This too shall pass, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit I'm a bit miffed at this turn of events.
The weather has me put off as well... rain, clouds, more rain, cooler temps - I guess I should be accepting of the fact it's still spring, but honestly, I want to lay outside, or sit on the porch, or mow the lawn, and recharge my batteries with the sunlight.
So many decisions right now... a non-running vacation is needed for sure. In the interim, I'm running the Bellevue-Offutt Runway Run and the Council Bluffs Half Marathon in May. Maybe June will allow me the opportunity to get away for a few days.
Peace, love and tequila - if I'm going crazy, I'm going on my terms, Cabo Wabo style.
Your low-crawling, sun-craving, vacation needing scribe
The weather has me put off as well... rain, clouds, more rain, cooler temps - I guess I should be accepting of the fact it's still spring, but honestly, I want to lay outside, or sit on the porch, or mow the lawn, and recharge my batteries with the sunlight.
So many decisions right now... a non-running vacation is needed for sure. In the interim, I'm running the Bellevue-Offutt Runway Run and the Council Bluffs Half Marathon in May. Maybe June will allow me the opportunity to get away for a few days.
Peace, love and tequila - if I'm going crazy, I'm going on my terms, Cabo Wabo style.
Your low-crawling, sun-craving, vacation needing scribe
Monday, March 15, 2010
Up close you're a guy... far away too
Dear Diary,
It's been 14 days since my last confession... wait, those are two entirely different things, neither of which apply here. Been thinking a lot about what to write these days. I wouldn't call it writer's block so much as nothing seems pertinent right now. What I know is this... spring can't get here soon enough.
The slight break in the clouds letting in a sliver of sunlight is a tease worse than the hottest "dancer" performing on stage near you but running to the other side of the room to her regular... it's a nice sight, but damn if you couldn't use more of a good thing. The reality of winter is that the long, cold days play havoc with the mind of a man who'd prefer to be outside, if even just enjoying a good cigar and better whiskey on the porch. My vitamin D deficiency is draining me... I'm ready for a Beatles song... how about "Here Comes the Sun"?
Time to get motivated... I can feel myself getting fat.
Peace, love and Vitamin D... here's to hitting the fake and bake tomorrow,
The hopefully not orange me
It's been 14 days since my last confession... wait, those are two entirely different things, neither of which apply here. Been thinking a lot about what to write these days. I wouldn't call it writer's block so much as nothing seems pertinent right now. What I know is this... spring can't get here soon enough.
The slight break in the clouds letting in a sliver of sunlight is a tease worse than the hottest "dancer" performing on stage near you but running to the other side of the room to her regular... it's a nice sight, but damn if you couldn't use more of a good thing. The reality of winter is that the long, cold days play havoc with the mind of a man who'd prefer to be outside, if even just enjoying a good cigar and better whiskey on the porch. My vitamin D deficiency is draining me... I'm ready for a Beatles song... how about "Here Comes the Sun"?
Time to get motivated... I can feel myself getting fat.
Peace, love and Vitamin D... here's to hitting the fake and bake tomorrow,
The hopefully not orange me
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