A lesson in self importance

Days pass, weeks pass, and I think, "Why haven't I blogged about anything lately?" Could be that I've been so wrapped up in my own "center of the universe" mentality that I've forgotten someone out there may actually benefit from my thoughts and/or experiences. Or it could be that I'm a lazy ass and never got around to it... I vote for this explanation (because I'm not looking to make an excuse).

I ran/hobbled the Air Force Marathon last weekend. Ran the first 21 miles, then watched the knots in my calves expand to the point where I could see the damn things through the calf sleeves I was wearing. Five miles of walking later, with multiple cups of fluids at every stop, and I was able to trot my way through the last quarter mile and finish with a mind-blowing time of 5 hours, 24 minutes, 12 seconds. Rah me.

I'm not happy about that time. Nor am I happy about the skinny little female 30-something officer in my building who ran another marathon that same weekend in around 4:42... oh, and thanks for mentioning you were sick the week before smart ass; apparently they don't teach Ego 101 in OTS. It's been hard for me to wrap my head around what's keeping me from finishing these runs strong... maybe because I keep coming back to me.

I once wrote (and repeated out loud many times) that the selfishness of running was not in my nature. Figuring it would catch up with me eventually, I just kept plodding away until it came time to address it. Now's that time.

The selfishness of distance running really can't be explained properly to those who aren't doing it. Non-runners see it as any one of a number of definitions of crazy... "Why spend three hours on the road running further than I chose to drive in a day, Kev?" But it's not just the time pounding the pavement. It's the mental prep, the meals, spending a few hours enjoying panelists' commentary at an expo event, the countless searches for new training techniques, and, of course, the expense of new shoes, clothing, supplements, gels and whatever else we need to get the job done as close to "right" as we can.

I feel like I should apologize to those who take backseats when I'm trying to focus on my events. Not because of the time I spend away or not responding to texts, phone calls or emails (BTW, whatever did we do BEFORE the advent of cell phones? I'd kill for those times again). More to the point, the apology should be for my poor-ass showings at these runs.

I'm running the Denver Rock 'n' Roll Inaugural Half Marathon in mid-October... if I don't finish sub-2 hours I may have to reconsider this hobby. I'm just not this important.

Peace, love, and a huge dose of humility... it does the body good,
Your current keeper of the DD Form ID10T

Six Weeks to another healthy dose of education

I can't believe it's been almost three months since I've been here. For as much as I've been learning about my abilities (or lack thereof) it'd make sense that I'd be more apt to share my realities. Maybe I just validiated my disbelief... the reality is that I'm not moving forward as I hoped - and I have no one to blame but myself.

Not to say that I haven't had some "wins". No, not 1st in a race wins, but some gains, like knocking off three minutes on my best 10K time at the Whitmore Lake Races 10K July 3. Or the even better 10K time I turned in as a split at the Chicago Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon Aug 1. But again, my reality is that I'm not training to the distance... I'm just running for the sake of spending ridiculous amounts of money traveling around and then walking away with a medal and a continuous shaking of my head while I ponder the question, "Why am I not taking this more seriously?"

The answer, gentle reader, is that I shouldn't be so serious... at least not so serious that I'm kicking my own ass on a regular basis. The seriousness I'm missing is a function of my ever-fragile ego (another casualty of hitting four full decades in age). If I'm not going to show more improvement, then I need to decide if running around the country doing this is the best fiscal option and, more importantly, if I need to be advertising my shortcomings.

With that in mind, in just six short weeks, at this time I'll be closing in (hopefully) on the finish of the Air Force Marathon in Dayton, Ohio. My running tip for the week (or month, or quarter, if you want to get technical about how often I'm here) is this: if you're running a long distance for the first time and can fall in with a pace group, do so. The folks leading these groups are experienced in running the distance you're tackling, and they'll keep you from doing what I did in Chicago... take off like a bat out of hell, turn in a great first nine miles then crash hard and cramp up because I didn't take my time staying properly hydrated.

I'll be here more often now... I know, I know - you've heard it all before. But what I've determined is that I need to share what I'm learning so I can go back and reread the lessons I'm passing on. There's nothing worse than a sage not taking their own advice.

BTW... my recommended book for the month is Born to Run by Christopher McDougall. It's a great story with some excellent spiritual views and fun anecdotes on running with people who thrive on the "ultra" side of life. Try it... you won't be sorry!

Peace, love, and potassium... it'll keep the cramps away!
Stumbledorff

A geriatric beatdown... epic fail

Ok, so I decide to use last weekend's Bellevue-Offutt Runway Run as a 7-mile training run for the Council Bluffs half marathon I'm registered for on March 23. While the distance was good, the results left much to be desired. The top 3 finishers were all in their late 40s, and when I learned a 66-year old woman finished about 20 minutes ahead of me, I quickly looked south to see if I still had my testicles. Are you kidding me???

Lessons learned... 1) run faster; 2) train harder; 3) run faster, dummy; and 4) quit having bright ideas. Finishing 82nd out of 152 isn't the kind of thing you brag about, although the optimistc masses out there have said everything from, "Good for you for trying," to, "Damn, I don't even like to drive that far." If I'm going to do this, I need to be actively engaged in making progress. Jack Ryan said it best in "Hunt for Red October"..."Next time, send a memo."

Faithful reader(s)... you'll see more of me from here over the next few months. I recently joined the Omaha Running Club so I can hang with more people who are sick like... I mean, enjoy running like I do. I've also entered myself into the following runs:

Council Bluffs Half Marathon - 23 May
The Bellevue Barnburner 10K - 5 June
The NE 5 - 5 miler - 12 June
Rock 'n' Roll Chicago Half Marathon - 1 Aug

and... ta daaaah... the Air Force Marathon - 18 September.

Yes, you read it right... daddy's gonna run himself into submission in Dayton, Ohio mid September. Please put 911 on your speed dial as we get closer to the date.

Peace, love, and a healthy dose of reality... I got mine from the grandma who whupped my carcass last weekend.
Your overachieving scribe

Lower than a snake's belly

So the last pause for the cause took 14 days... this time I've been away for more than a month, and I find myself sitting at my pub table typing away when I should be traveling to Nashville for my next Rock-n-Roll half marathon. However, concerns regarding severe weather have me taking the cautious side of the spectrum. It's not that I mind running in a little rain; I'm not the least bit interested in dodging lightning. This too shall pass, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit I'm a bit miffed at this turn of events.

The weather has me put off as well... rain, clouds, more rain, cooler temps - I guess I should be accepting of the fact it's still spring, but honestly, I want to lay outside, or sit on the porch, or mow the lawn, and recharge my batteries with the sunlight.

So many decisions right now... a non-running vacation is needed for sure. In the interim, I'm running the Bellevue-Offutt Runway Run and the Council Bluffs Half Marathon in May. Maybe June will allow me the opportunity to get away for a few days.

Peace, love and tequila - if I'm going crazy, I'm going on my terms, Cabo Wabo style.
Your low-crawling, sun-craving, vacation needing scribe

Up close you're a guy... far away too

Dear Diary,

It's been 14 days since my last confession... wait, those are two entirely different things, neither of which apply here. Been thinking a lot about what to write these days. I wouldn't call it writer's block so much as nothing seems pertinent right now. What I know is this... spring can't get here soon enough.

The slight break in the clouds letting in a sliver of sunlight is a tease worse than the hottest "dancer" performing on stage near you but running to the other side of the room to her regular... it's a nice sight, but damn if you couldn't use more of a good thing. The reality of winter is that the long, cold days play havoc with the mind of a man who'd prefer to be outside, if even just enjoying a good cigar and better whiskey on the porch. My vitamin D deficiency is draining me... I'm ready for a Beatles song... how about "Here Comes the Sun"?

Time to get motivated... I can feel myself getting fat.

Peace, love and Vitamin D... here's to hitting the fake and bake tomorrow,
The hopefully not orange me

Mission accomplished... pass the Tylenol

My first half marathon is in the books and my first thought comes from a T-shirt that read, "Who moved the finish line?" It was a great time, and although I didn't meet my original goal of 8.5 minute miles, I still ran a passable 2:04:15... not bad for breaking my cherry.

Best part of the weekend was the education I received. From what to pack (and what to leave home) to eating right to when to carb up during the run, there was a plethera of info logged in to my old but active melon.

If you haven't seen one of these Rock-n-Roll events, you've got to take part. Even if it's just watching and cheering the runners on, it's an amazing experience. My favorite sites were the runner I passed who had two Coors Light (no endorsement implied) tall boys in his backpack and one open in his hand... at mile 3; and the guy running with the beer can dangling off the end of a fishing pole attached to his bike helmet. Add inthe group of guys dressed like Hulk Hogan and the Dr. Seuss twins and this was lots of fun. I'm taking suggestions for my get up in Nashville - I believe I'll be leaning toward something Elvis-esque.

Bottom line... I had a blast, wouldn't have changed any part of the weekend, and can't wait for my next event... April 24 in Nashville! come join me.

Peace, love and a great massage (happy ending not required),
Your stumblin', bumblin', low-stridin' half marathoner... still in training and still alive!

All carbed up and nowhere to go

Only about eight hours until I'm in place, warming up in corral 4 with the rest of the meat getting ready to beat feet through New Orleans. Hit the expo today, a small commercial sampling of the companies fueling the silly adult dreams of running faster, farther and with more frequency as we continue to age.

Maybe the dreams aren't so silly, but I'm falling asleep tonight hoping my reality isn't a nightmare. Saw a T-shirt today that read, "This seemed like a good idea three months ago" - I couldn't agree more.

Off to zone out and attempt to get some rest... wish me luck.

Peace, love and sweet dreams,
Your humble loping anti-christ

New Orleans... runners paradise or Amsterdam without the weed?

Crazy in New Orleans... ok, maybe not crazy, but definitely up tempo from home station. Got in last night to some driving rain. I was pleased... driving rain means temps above freezing, and that's what this transplant to the Heartland needs. Now if I can just find some sun to help replinish the Vitamin D I'm certainly deficient of...

Heading shortly to the running expo, where I'll sign in for the half and probably spend much more money than I should. Great timing on filing the taxes, as both my federal return and the end of month pay check are in my account to bankroll my running-induced psychosis while I'm here.

Note: I miss my son. As a parent I find it hard (and sometimes disgusting, but that's for another post) to be selfish, yet that's a word that easily describes the majority of dedicated runners. It's not a negative thing, necessarily... it's just that by nature, if your hobby requires you to spend hours on the road, track, treadmill, or other cardio machines to train for a distance most lament driving, admit your selfishness and press on. But I do miss the little guy, and I'm happy I added to my running playlist a few songs played when his favorite wrestling stars make their ring entrance. Just typing about it brings a smile to my face, and I'll be thinking about his quest to break 100 at bowling today while I'm purchasing my overpriced carb gels and gushing over the newest running technology.

This time tomorrow I should be done with my masochistic road-pounding event, looking for some food, and hoping everything on this old body is still functional.

From the Big Easy, hoping it stays that way for this race virgin,

Peace, love and po-boys... mine with shrimp last night was great!

The night before the before the night before the race

Sitting here looking at the piles of stuff I'm planning to pack into a ridiculously oversized backpack, I'm wondering what would've possessed me to decide that a great way to spend my 40th year on Earth would be by running half marathons. C'mon Kev... old people don't heal well, and my past philosophy on running would be that how fast and far I run depends on who's chasing me.

Ok, so 40 isn't old. Some say it's the new 30. Well that means the 30 year olds I've had my eye on are now the new 20 year olds, and that's the last thing I need in my life. Relationship pursuits aside, I'm gearing up for the Inaugural Rock-n-Roll Marathon Series Mardi Gras Half Marathon in New Orleans on Feb 28. I'm hoping it's as fun as it looks on the Website, although few things are (see the recent news articles on the 300+ people sick on the cruise ship). Either way, it's an experience I'll never forget, and hopefully will recover from quickly.

For those sickos who may be wondering what goal I have for a finish time, let's just say I hope it's less than the time it takes to fly to Finland from Louisiana (get it? Finnish time???) The goal for this race is to complete the 13.1 mile run without having to be carried across the finish line and still possess the ability to walk away and enjoy the rest of my weekend.

More from the road... Daddy needs to finish packing and get some shut eye.

Peace, love and harmony... those folks who sing off key kill me,
Hop-a-long Kev, the guy wondering how long until his toenails start falling off.

Something Straight Between Us

I prefer, whether in person or by proxy, to offer advance caution to those who may decide to read, follow, or get in my way as I blog here. It's safe to say I can't promise a pristine verbiage for each and every posting. While I speak and write in goodly English most of the time, this ain't the cleaned up, award-seeking version of my life. That in mind, you'lla be seein' a little of everything here: well thought out postings, versions of M*A*S*H episodes where the characters write home, the nonsensical ravings of an occasionally lunatic mad man, ideas on a life serving others, and my love of being a father. Short story long, you may want to consider this blog anywhere from PG-13 to NC-17... if I go farther than that, it's the tequila talking.

Peace, love and crabs... you decide in what versions you'll take 'em.
Your Humble Blogger, moving through life at 40